She got into her car not knowing where she was headed but feeling the need to escape the loud silence that bounced around the living room. She drove past the river where a couple of summers ago they had rented a canoe and he had discovered her fear of water. She passed places they had stopped to capture images with their new cameras, never realizing those moments would forever be captured in her heart. He had taken his t-shirt off to feel the warmth of the sun on his skin and later she had ‘drawn’ it back on again in Photoshop amusing both of them with her silliness.
The dramatic dark clouds looming ahead, slowly started to weep, making her turn on the windscreen wipers. How do you stop loving someone? An alien thought and question that will never have an answer. Wasn’t it just last month he had asked, “You do know I love you don’t you?” When she voiced her negative response little did she know that one of them was lying. Filled with a new determination she returned home where the silence still sat.
The morning air, not quite reaching it’s predicted temperature, brushed it’s greeting on her skin, filling her with a chill as she got out of the car. Once inside she put on a fresh pot of coffee and ran a bath hoping to find relief from the numbness. Slipping under the liquid warmth, she lay letting tears add a salty wetness to her face as she felt her sadness envelope her. She had got into a stupid argument with her daughter that morning which added to her realization that it was in fact her sensitivity at the moment that was making her remember and feel every last incident. Her phone brought her back into the present with it’s chiming of a message.
Her sisters timing of asking how she was doing was met with a smile. She loved the bond they shared and how she was always the one to make her smile. It wasn’t always that way. Their teenage years just like any other sibling relationship of imaginary lines drawn on the bedroom floor and threats of what would happen if they were crossed. Those lines were long gone and in their place messages of love and support, conversations filled with laughter and a big sister protectiveness taking its place.
Drying her hands on the towel placed strategically beside the phone she picks it up and smiles upon reading the message. She types back all the details of what she is feeling, smiling to herself as she releases more than her fair share of expletives. Growing up in a family raised with going to church every Sunday and somehow every social event or group they attended or joined being affiliated with the church, swearing was frowned upon. They both took great delight in knowing how affective their use of cussing had become and it never failed to make both of them end up in fits of laughter. A release of words only ever meant for the others ears, used with great effectiveness and never AT each other.
By the time their goodbyes had been sent, the mug of coffee had gone cold but the warmth of her sister’s words had permeated into her mind and chased away the sadness for now.