It has taken a walk through the University of East Anglia for the light bulb to go on. The sudden release and realization how the letting go was all tied into another’s inability to do the very same act. In fact, holding on so tight to a belief that he failed to see beyond that moment. It wasn’t the significance of a moment in time but the significance that he held onto it, for all that time. The realization being released into the appropriate cold breeze, whilst in the warmth of the company of another man. (How ironic that after all these years it was him)Walking arm in arm through the U.E.A. grounds in Norwich, seeing how easy it was for one man to offer me his arm to hold, when it was abundantly clear how another was unable.
It has taken for me to return home, back to the same meeting spot with the start and finish line the very same. Coffee in the Forum. It wasn’t an unforgivable act on my part, it wasn’t a horrific event or even a malicious, purposeful or mean spirited quality I possessed (and to think all this time I questioned myself) Here it was, staring me in the face the whole time. An insignificant tiny object that no longer is in my possession nor holding any power over me.
So when she hands you the key to her new place or you have one made for her to move in with you, may you always be reminded that it was the key that let you go.
This piece of writing is dedicated to J.D. who, unbeknown to him, held the key to my light bulb moment and to whom I thank for the warmth of his arm. A gentleman’s gesture that meant the world.