Baby blues

10533267_10152580388056974_2846177920758182260_n  I have a case of the baby blues and I’m not even pregnant! Let me explain myself. This beautiful young woman in the photo is my niece, Rowena. I adore her to bits. Everything about her from her sass to her wonderful laugh. She is not only my niece but also my God Daughter and she is expecting her first child.

Now, when I was able to fly home to England a few years ago to attend her wedding, I was over the moon. I got teary eyed watching as she absolutely glowed that day. I was equally over the moon on hearing the news that Rowena and her husband, Simon, were expecting their first child. But that news also came with such sadness.

I love my life here in Canada. I have 3 amazing ‘kids’ who I am so very proud of. I am surrounded by many wonderful friends. I have a fantastic job that I not only love but my co-workers too. Life is good here. Except, for one thing. I am too far away from the family that I left behind 30 years ago.

There have been so many celebrations during those 30 years that I have not  been a part of.  I am so grateful for the ability to text, e-mail and Skype but it never replaces that feeling of being in the midst of my crazy family gatherings. So much laughter and love, not to mention the constant teasing. Just how it all should be when we all get together..

My dear niece has not had the most perfect of pregnancies, which has been hard to hear. So now that she only has 9 weeks left I, for one, am rooting for the time to pass quickly for her. But with it comes a true sense of sadness for me. I am here. That little bundle of joy is going to arrive into a part of the world where I am not. That precious little life will change on a daily basis and grow up all too fast. Babies have a way of doing that.

I walk past the baby clothing section in the grocery store smiling to myself like an idiot. I can’t wait to find out whether I can buy that cute little pink knitted hat with the adorable matching mittens or will it be that trendy little jacket with the aeroplane on. I know I will absolutely love shopping for this wee little one and lovingly wrapping the parcel up to mail. I just wish I could be there in person to watch you grow little one ❤

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